It took me a long time to realize that the most important relationship I’ll ever have is the one I have with myself. As things get busy over the holidays, you’re searching for gifts, planning parties and decorating. With all that going on, it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself. This holiday season, I challenge you to treat yourself to self care Christmas gifts!
Although I still struggle with self care, I know it’s so important. And when I am able to do it, I feel so much more energized and powerful. Since I am no self care expert, I reached out to a few friends who I consider to be self care pros. This group of queens helped me get through a tough break-up last year. They are kind, compassionate and firm on learning your boundaries so you can care for yourself in the best way possible. They gave me some amazing suggestions that I have included here alongside my own recommendations.
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The Gift of Good SleepÂ
I have been sleeping on my for two years in December. I can confidently say that this was the best self care Christmas gift I ever gave myself. Big Fig Mattress is the first mattress designed specifically for plus size sleepers. The average mattress is made to support sleepers up to 250 pounds. Big Fig Mattress holds a combined weight of 1000 pounds AND it has a 20-year warranty. Before my Big Fig Mattress, I never knew how poorly I was sleeping. I would wake up during the middle of the night and I had daily lower back pain. Big Fig Mattress solved ALL of the are known to face. As a creative entrepreneur, I cannot tell you how much getting a good night’s sleep has transformed my mental health and well-being. Use code off your Big Fig Mattress now through 11/29.
A Warm Hug
I don’t personally have a but I have heard that sleeping with one is like a warm hug. There’s a bunch of different ones out there so I searched the reviews of a bunch and I’ll just let this review do the talking for me. Ryan J. Carter writes, “BUYER BEWARE: This blanket will bend you to its will. You will try to get out of bed, and it push back as if to say,’No, just stay.’ You will begin to think about the blanket more and more until you find yourself thinking only about the blanket. When you are away from the blanket you will think only of getting back to the blanket. When you are under the blanket you will think only of how you long to never leave the blanket. So beware the seductive lure of the blanket.”
Yes Scrubs
I know that baths are the most popular or prominent form of self-care but I also know that baths can bring a lot of anxiety for plus size babes. There has only been one time I attempted to take a bath in my adult life. I didn’t really fit in the tub and I didn’t find it calming. I mentioned that to my friend CJ and she recommended using in the shower as an alternative. She suggested adding for calming or for grounding and cleansing. Speaking of essential oils, my best friend swears by keeping an  next to her bed.
Answer the Call
Rachel Otis (@) is someone I have known through the social justice and body positive space for quite a few years. In addition to being one of the most affirming commenters on Instagram, Rachel is also a somatic therapist who graduated from California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco with her Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology; focusing on Somatic Psychotherapy. Rachel describes Somatic therapy saying, “Somatic Therapy veers from traditional talk therapy in that it directly works with the mind-body connection, which is often actively disconnected in modern society, bridging the gap to understanding how our thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, gestures, pains, & pleasures communicate to inform one another of core cycles, patterns, and pathways.”I have been in therapy for nearly 10 years and I would be a totally different person without it. Rachel is based in Maine but she offers teletherapy to connect with clients worldwide and if you’re new to therapy this is a great way to get started. Rachel’s services are available on a sliding scale. For Ready to Stare readers, Rachel is offering free 30-minute introductory somatic therapy sessions. Contact her at  and let her know Ready to Stare sent you!
Log Out and Tune In
Meditation apps like and came highly recommended by my friends. If you are new to meditation, these apps are very approachable way to learn to be more mindful and reduce anxiety. Both have a free version. My friend Britt (who shares daily meditations on her Twitter, ) prefers Calm because of their breath bubble. What is most important is that you take time away from your stressors. My friend suggested the with Chel Hamilton. If meditation isn’t your thing, try taking a walk or drinking a full glass of water while doing nothing else.  And I promise I will take my own advice on this one day but TURN OFF YOUR PHONE ON AIRPLANE MODE to force you to take a break from social media.
Exhale the Bullshit
In addition to therapy, I love creative coaching! It was actually my creative coach that recommended a book about manifesting love that I believe is the reason I meant Gio BUT I digress. One of my favorite personal motivators and coaches is Shanna Shrum. She’s fun, energetic and sooooo passionate about the work she does. She offers creative coaching on an individual and group basis and bases a lot of her work around the principles of . She just released her 2019 Goal-Setting Workshop as a video and workbook package. Ready to Stare readers can use the code READYTOPAHTY to take 20% off the video and workbook! I just got it so if you get it too and need an accountability partner, let’s chat!
Twinkle Time
Shanna recommended adding as a form of self care and when I thought about it, I realized the impact that putting up my Christmas tree last week had. Walking into my dining room which had previously been a space of high anxiety for me and seeing my Christmas tree lit up has positively impacted my energy. Create a space in your house that soothes you. Paint is another way to . Red is a high energy color which makes it great for a family room but not ideal for a bedroom. Blue is calming and serene and more ideal for bathrooms and bedrooms.
Give Thanks
One thing I have been working to put into practice is turning negativity into positive affirmations. My best friend has been particularly helpful in this practice quickly sending me positive affirmations. When I am in a negative headspace, I can count on her to help me see my way of it. can be a great way to capture these positive thoughts and I love the idea of using a journal as a way to practice gratitude. Shanna says, “Gratitude is a very powerful self care practice. I even send thank you cards to myself!” Kelsey suggested which seems like a fun way to thank yourself. Another friend suggested the Alchemy with Ambi podcast (Episode 22) as a tool that helped her embrace gratitude. I just started making my way through the archives and I already love it.
Body Positive Boudoir
Doing shoots has always been a practice in self love for me. I think if you’re struggling to see yourself as the beautiful and powerful being that you are, this is a great way to get outside of that thinking. Gra Photography (who did my ) is currently offering $150 off boudoir sessions which includes client closet access, hair and makeup and an hour long session. Her closet of lingerie includes items up to a size 6X. Her studio in Akron features a private room just for boudoir sessions. You can for $200 and it’s good for all 2019 sessions. Tell her Ready to Stare sent you! Also, if you book this, I volunteer to be your personal cheerleader and stylist (if you want!)
Affirm Yourself
I struggle with affirmations sometimes especially when I am in a negative headspace. My best friend Kristen suggested these If you find coming up with your own affirmations to be challenging, this makes it a little more approachable. Affirmators offers specific cards for family, work and love and relationships. Kelsey suggested following Tracy G’s She’s Beauty and the Beast for daily affirmations, audio vision boards and newsletter. The is another Kelsey recommendation that I can’t wait to listen to!
Self care means something different for everyone. For some it’s a bath, a mask and a glass of wine. While for others, it’s getting a mani/pedi and a massage. I personally love taking myself on solo dates. Take the time to explore what you like and don’t be afraid to try new things. If you try anything on this list, please let me know in the comments below!