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- Positive Body Talk
When people ask me how I dress my body, I always tell them the same thing: I donât let my feelings about my body (or anyone elseâs) decide what I put on it. And I think for a lot of us, weâve developed a link between the size of our body and what we are able to wear. Itâs a message that society enforces by telling us things like you can only wear a crop top with a flat stomach. But these rules are not real and they are a form of body policing. They can be ingrained in us that we self-impose them. We see any sign of visible fat as a bad thing. But I am fat and I am going to look fat in whatever I wear. Thatâs just not a bad thing. When I try things on now, I focus on how it feels and if it fits. I tell myself I look great and I believe it. I eliminate all negative body talk in the dressing room both for myself and my friends. - Focus On You
So often I hear from folks that they wish they could wear something I have on. My response is always that they can! I really do believe that everyone can wear whatever they want. But maybe they arenât there yet in their own self love journey. I try to look at those fears Iâve yet to conquer as things I havenât done yet rather than things I canât do. Confronting that fear is no easy feat but I think it helps a lot to look at what someone else has on and instead of making a comparison to just simply recognize how great they look. Someone else wearing something you arenât ready to yet isnât a reflection of you at all. I think the more you take that on, the easier it can be to feel bad instead of inspired. - Try New Things
One of the fashion fears that I conquered within the last few years was shorts. I wore mini skirts for years but shorts to me were a challenge. I told myself that they rode up too much and that no one wanted to see the outline of my thighs or visible belly outline in shorts. In reality, I was the one who was afraid of seeing that. I even had shorts I had bought because I liked that them and they fit my personal style but I kept them in my drawer unworn for months. Until one day, I decided to put them on and with a friend who had been insecure about her legs being too small. I realized that while I am wasting time wishing my legs were smaller, someone else is out there wishing for what I have. And at the end of the day, your body is the only one youâve got. I put the shorts on that day and I never looked back. In fact, I have a whole dresser drawer dedicated to shorts now. - Wear What Fits
With the arbitrary value that society places on the number on the scale or the size on a tag, I can understand why some people have a hard time defining what size they are. Currently in my closet, I have pieces in every size between 4X and Large and they all fit. When shopping online, I always consult the size chart and read the reviews. A 2X at some stores may be a 18/20 and at others, itâs a 14/16 or a 20/22. That doesnât mean thereâs something wrong with my body; it just means that their size chart is different than what I may be used to. Ultimately, itâs most important to wear whatever size in that particular brand makes you feel most comfortable. - Forget ALL The Rules
We live in a culture where fashion is judged and criticized rather than celebrated as a form of self expression. Whenever someone tells me that I canât wear something, I ask them why and usually they donât have an answer beyond, âthatâs what I was always toldâ or âitâs not flattering.â Insert eye roll. If thereâs one thing Iâve learned, itâs to question what Iâve been told and doing so has served me and my personal style very well. The rules that mainstream fashion magazines have told us about how to dress our shape are just another way to control us and stifle self-expression. If you like it, wear it. Period.
- Positive Body Talk